Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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