you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
