If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
