well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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