I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize