just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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