the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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