Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
