I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
