i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
