I wannas sexs uuuuu
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
