I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize