Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
