just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
