Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
