OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
