we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
