Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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