I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
