I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
