You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
