I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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