Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
