he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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