just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
