like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I didn't notice because vodka
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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