Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
how drunk are you?
Several
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
