I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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