Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I currently don't understand fingers.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
