would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
