did you get engaged???
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
