Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
