no, he came in my armpit
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
