party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
