We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
