Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
