She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
They took my balls.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
