okay pat passed out under dana's car
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
