OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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