So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
