do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
where are my eyebrows?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
