i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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