What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I would fuck him just for his dog
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
