I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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