so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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