I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
