help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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