I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
