hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
