Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
