and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize