how can u be prego again
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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