So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
