She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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