Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
