So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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