I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
vagina is talking i cant
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
