well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
