would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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