That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
