we have officially lost it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
