This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
