My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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