She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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